Is Your Child Shy or Selectively Mute? Anxieties children face and how they cope with them.

Children will typically enter a freeze zone if facing anxiety.

Some children are chirpers, some are shy and do not like to talk to strangers. They start to chirp when they get to know the person after a little while. Then we have some who will not talk in certain situations no matter what. It is as if they enter a freeze zone akin to a severe case of stage fright.

They may avoid eye contact and appear to be nervous, or socially awkward. They will start to behave inappropriately, disinteresting, or downright sulky.

Levels:

Confident children with selective mutism will use gestures to communicate; like they may nod for “yes” or shake their head for “no”.

Some children may manage to respond with a few words, or they may speak in an altered voice, such as a whisper.

Severely affected children tend to avoid any form of communication ; spoken, written or gestured.

Although being bilingual does not cause Selective mutism but it is more common in bilingual children.

Signs You May Notice:

Shall not speak in a place and time where he/she should naturally do so like school or at the park but otherwise can talk freely when not surrounded by people.

The pattern is repeated over more than a month in a normal setting. (excluding new place or transitional times)

The child does not suffer from speech delay or language problems.

Bilingual Children:

Although being Bilingual does not cause Speech Mutism but it is more common in children who are expected to be bilingual. The expectation to correctly use the language they are less comfortable with causes them anxiety.

Helping Kids to Talk:

• 5 Second rule: Give them time to process. Wait at least 5 seconds before you show signs of expecting an answer.
• Targeted Praise: ‘Thank you for telling us…..’. Tell them exactly what they are being praised for.
• Avoid closed ended questions that require a simple ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Rephrase questions to generate a slightly longer answer. Encourage speaking in full sentences.
• Practice echoing to build confidence. Repeating what they say is reinforcing and letting them know that they’ve been heard and understood. For kids who speak very quietly, repeating what they say also helps them participate in bigger groups.

For bilingual children, give them freedom to use the language they are more comfortable in without judgement. At the end of the day, language is but a medium of expression. It doesn’t have to be an overbearing burden.